


Vulnerable

by nerdyketones



Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: Anxiety, Anxiety Disorder, Coping, Fear, Friendship, Guilt, Hugs, Hunk is full of grief and guilt, Illnesses, Keith has an anxiety disorder, Lance just needs to be loved, Loneliness, Pidge gets sick, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Pressure, Shiro needs a break, Sick Character, Sickfic, Team Bonding, Team as Family, Vulnerability, Whump, completely self-indulgent
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-10-14
Updated: 2016-10-14
Packaged: 2018-08-22 11:17:36
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 7,970
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8283968
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/nerdyketones/pseuds/nerdyketones
Summary: Each paladin gets their own chapter describing a time when they were vulnerable, and when their teammates and team supported them and helped them through their hardship. Pidge-IllnessKeith-AnxietyHunk-GuiltLance- LonelinessShiro- Pressure/PTSD





	1. Illness

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you to silentmagi for being my beta and my friend!

Vulnerable: Pidge: Illness

[][][][][][][][]

It wasn’t like Pidge to  willingly  be late to a meeting. She got caught up in a project or a section of coding that ‘would only take ten seconds, I _promise!’_ and before she knew it she was twenty minutes late. The team was used to this. That’s why they were all waiting outside the lab for Shiro to reprimand Pidge (again) and bring her to the common room for their next meeting on group fighting techniques.

When Shiro came out alone, looking bemused, their plans changed.

“She’s not in the lab?” Keith asked the obvious, wondering where the hell she’d managed to run off. It wasn't unheard of for Pidge to just disappear, but it always took a long time and a lot of stressful searching to finally find her.

“Detective Keith strikes again!” Lance sniped, and then pouted when he got punched, hard, in the shoulder. Hunk hastily held them apart before Lance could return fire, and Shiro sighed, rubbing his forehead. “We can split up and look for her. I bet I’ll find her faster than Keith, anyway.” Lance bragged.

“Yeah, right. You can’t even find your own fruity face cream--,”

“It’s not _fruity,_ it’s _hydrating_ face cre-!”

“Guys.” Shiro sighed, reeling Keith and Lance in. “This is _not_ a competition, but do keep an eye out for Pidge. We’ll have to reschedule the meeting for now. I’m going to ask Coran or Allura if they’ve seen her. In the meantime...try not to fight, alright? Focus on finding Pidge.”

“No promises,” Keith muttered as Lance waggled his eyebrows at him. “I mean, yeah, of course!” He added louder when Shiro frowned disapprovingly.

Team Voltron split up to look. Hunk went to check on Green, and Lance and Keith both went to the old castle library and then yelled at each other for taking their idea. Shiro struck out with Coran and Allura and even checked in the common room, hoping she’d just showed up late, but Pidge was nowhere to be found. He was actually starting to get worried when Hunk jogged in, expression miserable. “What?” Shiro asked immediately, thinking of a thousand different things that could have gone wrong.

“I found her in her room. Keith and Lance are with her right now. I think she’s sick, Shiro. Do you know where Coran is?”

“He’s in the engine room; I’ll meet you two at Pidge’s room.” Shiro said instantly, heading for the youngest paladin’s room. It made sense, in a way, that Pidge was sick. She stayed up late every night, got less sleep than Shiro (a feat in itself) and still tried to train as hard as Keith. She never wanted to admit that she needed a break, and she pushed herself way too hard most of the time. He hastened to Pidge’s room and slipped inside.

Lance and Keith weren’t bickering, which was a bad sign. Keith was tugging a pair of socks onto Pidge’s feet, and Lance had a bowl of cool water and a washcloth, which he was using to dab at her forehead. Pidge was as pale as her sheets, her brow dotted with clammy sweat. She twitched occasionally, but didn’t wake up. “She’s really out of it. Her feet are so ticklish and she didn’t even flinch.” Keith said almost glumly, tucking the blanket back down around her socked feet.

“Did any of you notice her getting sick?” Shiro asked, feeling a pang of guilt. Pidge had looked tired yesterday, but her bags had seemed to be of an average size and she’d been alert and as sarcastic as always during training and dinner. He hadn’t noticed anything out of the ordinary, and as the leader, he felt like it was his obligation to have caught her illness sooner.

“I mean, it’s Pidge.” Lance echoed Shiro’s thoughts, wiping sweat off of her neck with surprisingly tender strokes. “She’s like one of my brothers-- they like to act all tough, like nothing’s wrong, until they can’t handle it anymore and get really sick. She could have been feeling crappy for a while now and just decided to tough it out.”

“I hear we have a sick one,” Allura said as she, Hunk, and Coran came in. She crawled right into Pidge’s bunk to feel her forehead and then the inside of her wrist. She glanced at Coran, who grimaced at her expression, a knowing look passing between the two Alteans.

“We thought as much. It appears as if Pidge has an Altean Fever.” Coran announced. “Characterized by a hot forehead and cool wrist. Unfortunately, the regen pods do nothing for this kind of sickness.”

“What can we do then? Is it dangerous for humans? Like, fatal?” Hunk asked, twisting the hem of his jacket nervously. Pidge never let anything get to her- she was fiercely proud that she was ‘just one of the guys’. Seeing her lying so still in bed, so unwell, made his stomach clench.

“She’ll be cold, but she just needs to sweat it out.” Allura said a tad grimly. “If she ever wakes up enough, water or tea would help to keep her hydrated. Otherwise, she’ll just need a source of heat, preferably body heat. I remember a few bouts with Altean Fever myself, and that’s all that made me feel better. As for the severity of the illness, it is hard to say. Humans have never ventured this far into space. Although our biology is slightly similar to yours...the best we can do is monitor her condition. At the moment, her symptoms are consistent with what Alteans normally suffer from.”

“There’s no medicine she could take?” Shiro asked, wishing he could whip out a bottle of fever-reducer from the Garrison standard first aid kit and make Pidge better again. He knew logically that she would be alright, even if he had to fly across the universe to get her some kind of medicine, but seeing her look so sick and pale reminded him of the last time he’d seen Matt, and that was making his heart race uncomfortably in his chest.

“No medicine we have, no, and I don't think it will get bad enough that we'd need some. Don’t worry, paladins; Pidge will be alright.” Coran said sympathetically and reassuringly. “If we all took turns staying with her she should be just fine in a few days.”

“I volunteer for the first shift!” Lance practically yelled it. When he received raised eyebrows and confused glances in return, he huffed and added, “Like I said, she’s like one of my younger brothers. I’ve taken care of more sick people than I can count. I got this.”

“Someone will come back in an hour or so,” Shiro designated, divvying up the work before anyone could be upset. It was odd, but it was a good sign of how strong of a team they were that _everyone_ wanted to take care of Pidge. Shiro couldn’t lie- he wanted to also, almost enough to tell Lance to give up the ‘first shift’ so he could do it instead. Pidge didn’t let anyone baby her, and while it made him very worried to have to take care of her, he couldn’t deny that he wanted to. “Use your comm link if you need _anything.”_ He said firmly, getting up with a sigh. Hovering and crowding Lance and the unconscious Pidge wouldn’t do anything but make him worry more.

“You got it.” Lance said seriously, dipping the cloth back into the cool water to rub it soothingly over Pidge’s flushed cheeks and neck.

Over the next few hours, the paladins turned into the best nurses in the universe. Each one took a different approach. Lance kept her forehead cool. He tucked his headphones onto her head and found a playlist of quiet, classical music he kept on hand for when he was babysitting his nieces and nephews. A little bit of Beethoven and the infants were out like a light. Pidge wasn’t a baby, but he hoped that it would help her sleep a little more comfortably.

Keith gave Pidge his gloves to keep her hands warm and added another blanket when she started shivering. He rubbed her socked feet, feeling how cold they were, and didn’t move from her side for even a second. He wished Rover was still around so that he could ask it to keep a constant watch on Pidge’s vitals. Even if this illness wasn’t too serious, he didn’t like the thought of Pidge, hardworking, excited, _honest_ Pidge being out of commission.

Coran, who was a pro at treating Altean Fever, enlisted Allura to give Pidge as hot of a bath as they could draw up without burning the human. Allura then bundled her back into the warmest pajamas she owned as Coran changed her sheets and blankets. They’d dealt with Altean Fever many times, having both treated sufferers and had the sickness themselves. The mice cuddled up in Pidge’s palms and around her neck, doing their part to keep the tiny human warm.

Hunk got her to briefly wake up and drink some tea, but Pidge was delirious and nonsensical, drifting off every few seconds. He then sat her up against his front in her bunk and piled the blankets on top of them, cocooning her in body heat and Altean fleece until he was uncomfortably warm. Pidge, however, was still shivering, so Hunk sweated it out and turned the heat up in her room, determined to make her feel better.

Shiro took the ‘night shift’, sliding right into bed with Pidge and letting her burrow into him for heat, shivering in his arms. He told her stories about the long flight to Kerberos in a low voice, stories about her dad and her brother as Pidge shivered and sweated and slept on, twitching and murmuring occasionally. Shiro did manage to drift off a few times, but feeling Pidge shivering against his arm or gripping his shirt never failed to wake him up and hold her closer yet.

In the end, every single member of the team snuggled or spooned Pidge in one way or another to keep her warm. Coran explained that while blankets were well and good, sufferers of Altean Fever really only ever wanted one thing- a warm body to be close to. Their subconscious minds, so _cold_ from the sickness, never failed to seek out body heat. Peeling out of Pidge’s hold to let the next person into Pidge’s bunk was the hardest part; Pidge would moan in protest, shivering and clutching to the person with weak fingers. She asked for her mom, for her dad, for her brother.

When she finally woke up fully for the first time in three days, it was to find herself sandwiched between Keith and Lance, her face buried into Keith’s ribs as Lance played lightly with her hair, whispering quietly to Keith about his siblings. Considering Keith and Lance were together and not either ignoring or bothering one another, Pidge's first thought was that she was dreaming. “Whuz’happenin'?” Pidge slurred, making both men jump at the unexpected sound.

“You’re sick, Pidge. How are you feeling?” Keith recovered first. He tried to pull back a bit to see her clearly, but Pidge just groaned, gripping his shirt to cement her position.

“M’cold.” Pidge said through chattering teeth. “M’sick?”

“Yeah. Why didn’t you tell anyone you were feeling crappy? Ay, dios mio. Exactamente como un toro,” Lance tutted, reaching for something. That something turned out to be a conveniently placed comm link on the floor nearby. “Hey, guys. Pidge is semi-conscious. She says she’s cold. Should we dog-pile it?” He said into a comm link.

Fifteen minutes later, Pidge was no longer cold. Every single member of the team had brought mattresses, pillows, and blankets to her room. A large bed of sorts was constructed on the floor, and Pidge was undeniably warm. Hunk was doing most of the work, wrapped around her like a jacket, but Shiro was there too, boxing her in, letting her press her face into his sternum. Allura was stroking her hair with warm, soft hands, and Keith and Lance were lying over the legs of the paladin sandwich, and were in charge of adding blankets as needed. Coran had rustled up an old Altean ‘xedri’, or as the human’s called it, a hot-water bottle, and Pidge thanked him through chattering teeth, hugging it with shaky arms.

By the next day, she wasn’t so cold anymore, and by the end of the week she felt back to her old self. If she still occasionally snuck into a team member’s room for the night, comforted by the solid presence of another person, no one said a word about it.  


	2. Anxiety

Vulnerable: Keith: Anxiety

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Slash. Parry. Twist. Duck!

Panting, Keith backed off of the Gladiator for a moment, willing the sweat on his forehead to stop dripping into his eyes. He needed to be vigilant, to be ready, but he was having trouble beating ‘Level 5’ on the Gladiator. He’d run into this problem before, but he always stubbornly threw himself at the problem, again and again, until he could master it. He’d always been on his own, and so he could always solve a problem on his own.

He didn’t need help.

Slice. Thrust. Dodge. Spin!

He was exhausted. Every muscle in his body was begging him to stop, and his breath was catching in his throat and chest, ragged and heavy, but he refused to give up. The Galra could attack at anytime. He _needed_ to be dependable, ready, and--

The Gladiator aimed low, swiping his legs out from underneath him with a hard _whack_ that made his ankle throb painfully in his boot. He stayed on his back on the training floor, eyes smarting with sweat and, although he would _never_ admit it, tears. He was so frustrated and anxious and--

“Keith? Keith!”

He’d stayed on the floor too long. Tiny footsteps ran over, and Pidge tapped his shoulder. “M’okay,” he groaned before she could freak out on him, but he made no move to get up.

“No you’re not.” She denied instantly. Damn it. Why did she have to be so observant?

“What are you even doing down here anyway? It’s three in the morning,” Keith snapped before he could stop himself. All he wanted was to rest, but he was too wired, too on edge. Pidge’s hand let go of his shoulder.

“Keith, I’m going to get Shiro. You aren’t going to complain about it, and you are going to _wait_ right here.” Pidge said sternly, raising her voice when Keith went to object. “Shut up. Stay here. We’ll be right back.” Pidge declared, and then she’d jogged off.

Keith groaned a bit to himself, ready for Shiro to reprimand him to Arus and back. He’d told Keith to stop training four hours ago, but Keith hadn’t listened. He _needed_ to do this. He needed to feel safe again, and feel like he could protect the others too. Why couldn’t he just beat level 5 and not be so _anxious?_

Fast, measured footsteps entered the training arena, and he felt Shiro kneel next to him. To his surprise, Keith then felt him lay down so that they were side by side. “Keith.” Shiro said, just his name, but his tone said everything. He knew something was wrong, and wanted an answer, but he wasn’t going to interrogate Keith.

It was just one of the reasons why Keith respected Shiro and felt utterly _safe_ with him.

“I have to be ready. For the Galra. I have to be strong for everyone else.” He managed to force out after a minute of silence. He wasn’t breathing so heavily anymore, so he had to work hard to keep his tone steady; he had nothing to blame his strain on anymore.

“You’re still on level 5?” Shiro asked.

“Yes.” Keith said through gritted teeth, gripping his bayard until his knuckles ached.

“I used to be so weak.” Shiro said after another minute, and Keith stiffened, cracking an eye. Shiro was lying next to him, eyes closed, but he looked anything but serene. “As a prisoner. It was fight or die, kill or be killed.” Shiro continued, his prosthetic forming into a fist that shook a little as he spoke. “I was terrified of not being good enough. Of failing. Of dying.”

“Shiro…” Keith didn’t know what to say. He’d never been great with words or a big talker, and he was overwhelmed with how well Shiro understood him. He, Pidge, Hunk, Coran and Allura, hell, even _Lance_ had all learned to read him, to get him, and when they didn’t understand him they worked really hard to try. When had he gotten so lucky? “I get it.” Keith said as Shiro turned to look at him. “Thanks.”

“You’re a part of a team now. Together, we have nothing to fear, and apart you are a very skilled warrior, Keith. You just need to do your best. You’re only human, after all.” Shiro said, offering him a tired half-smile. When Keith managed to return it, Shiro sat up. “You hurt anywhere?” he asked, tracking his eyes over Keith.

“Yeah,” Keith admitted, sitting up with a wince. Pretty much all of him was screaming with soreness, but his ankle hadn’t stopped throbbing painfully since the Gladiator had hit it. “My ankle. Right side.”

“Of course you would get hurt when the regen pods are down for maintenance.” Shiro said disapprovingly.

“They are?” Keith asked, resisting the urge to curse. He felt _awful,_ and he’d come to depend on the alien technology to get him back in the arena, day after day. Without a long recovery period he could push himself harder and faster.

“Yes, Keith. I told everyone at dinner.” Shiro said pointedly, and Keith mumbled an apology, wiping sweat off of his face as Shiro got to his feet. He took the hand offered to him, and Shiro pulled Keith upright, steadying him on one foot. “They’ll be offline for all of tomorrow unless I redirect Pidge off of her Galra comm feed project to speed things along.”

“That sounds important. I’m fine,” Keith bluffed, trying to put his foot down. Searing pain made him yelp, lifting his leg right back up again, and Shiro sighed.

Keith was suddenly being hugged.

“I get that trusting others is hard for you, Keith, but you can rely on us. You don’t have to be strong all the time.” Shiro said, a sure hand holding the back of his head, his prosthetic arm looped firm around and secure around his back.

Keith was hardly aware that he was doing it, but he leaned on Shiro, holding him tight around the waist, letting his head rest on his chest. His anxiety was still there, as it always was, but it was muted, relaxed a bit thanks to his utter exhaustion and the safety of Shiro’s embrace. “Thanks, Shiro,” he mumbled into the older man’s uniform, and Shiro laughed softly, rubbing his head.

“Come on.” Shiro said, bending at the knees and offering Keith his back. Blushing furiously, glad that Shiro’s back was turned, Keith gingerly hopped onto his strong back. Shiro held the backs of his legs, and Keith looped his arms around his neck, pressing his face into Shiro’s head with a low groan when sore muscles twanged. “You’ve got to have a cut off, Keith. Something.” Shiro said as he carried him through the silent hallways. “What if we lost the regen pods altogether?”

“Yeah.” Keith mumbled, trying to stay awake. He nodded and apologized appropriately as Shiro made a few suggestions, like asking Pidge to program the Gladiator to refuse him after so many consecutive hours of training, or exercising with a partner so that someone could tell Keith when he needed to quit. The well-meaning lecture got fuzzier and fuzzier, until Keith was drifting in and out of sleep.

Smiling a bit to himself, Shiro carried Keith to his own room. Keith’s room was barren and almost too clean. Shiro wanted him to _rest,_ not wake up thinking he needed to save the universe. He ever so carefully eased his teammate off of his back and onto his bed. He removed Keith’s boots and wrapped his swelling ankle, apologizing softly when Keith groaned, stirring at the pain. Shiro went into his bathroom and wet down a towel. He worked Keith’s shirt off and tossed it into the hamper. A quick sponge-bath later, and the sweaty paladin was no longer so sticky and flushed. Bruises of all shapes and severities were springing up on his arms and torso, making Shiro sigh and shake his head.

Shiro situated Keith onto the mattress so that he’d be lying comfortably, and then pulled the blankets up, tucking him in. Satisfied that Keith had been cared for as much as possible that night, Shiro locked his door so that Keith physically couldn’t get out until morning, just in case Shiro didn’t wake up.

The eldest paladin then lay down next to Keith and closed his eyes, finding it easier to drift off with someone else there. A reassuring presence kept the nightmares away.

The next day, Lance insisted on icing Keith’s ankle as Hunk, Coran, and Pidge worked to bring the regen pods online again. Even though he acted irritated by all of the scolding and attention, Keith couldn’t deny that he’d never been looked after or cared for before. Team Voltron was a little odd, but it was his family. It was his _home._

He felt a little less anxious after that.


	3. Guilt

Vulnerable: Hunk: Guilt

[][][][][][][][][]

He could still picture the look on the Dionians face.

They’d gone to a planet on the fringes of Zarkon’s empire, and had formed Voltron to save the planet from destruction. They’d just managed to hold back the Galra and keep the planet from being added to the empire or reaped for quintessence.

But that didn’t change the fact that people had died.

The Dionian in particular that was haunting Hunk was one he’d been trying to coax down from a high walkway during the middle of a battle. Once they had taken care of Galra orbiting the planet, they’d still needed to liberate Dionians on the ground. It had been a long, long series of skirmishes and fights.

The Dionian he’d been reaching for, reassuring it, had been just a child. It had hidden up on the walkway because it was scared and alone. Hunk had tried so  _ hard  _ to convince it that he was there to help, and that it would be safe with him.

He’d just seen it start to warily accept him, scooting closer to let Hunk help it down, when a Galra had shot it. The poor thing’s body had fallen, and Hunk had caught it.

After going into a rage, killing any Galra in sight, he’d tenderly buried the child before reporting back in with Shiro. Since then, he’d been quiet and terse with his teammates. He’d felt this way after the balmera, but it hadn’t  _ hurt  _ so much. He’d been hopeful that he could make a difference on the balmera. Now he’d failed.

How many people would he fail? He was supposed to help them all,  _ save  _ them all. Did he need more training? Keith did need a sparring partner. Maybe he could talk strategy with Allura and Shiro too, so he could be smarter in battle?

“-unk.  _ Hunk.”  _ He hadn’t even realized he’d zoned out at lunch until Lance came into focus, waving a hand in front of his face. “What’s the matter, big guy? Did you get enough sleep last night?”

“I’m fine.” Hunk snapped without realizing, and the table went quiet. Hunk  _ never  _ sounded like that.

“I--uh, are you su-?” Lance’s weak, well-meaning question was cut off.

“Just leave it alone!” Hunk talked over him, voice still so sharp and  _ hurt. _

“Hunk.” Shiro interjected, both surprised and worried.

“I thought you of all people would  _ listen  _ to me! I said that I don’t want to talk about it, so  _ leave me alone!”   _ Hunk yelled in his face, shoving up from the table and kicking his chair out of the way so he could storm out.

“Holy  _ quiznap.”  _ Pidge said shakily.

“I--I know. He’s  _ never  _ been like that since I’ve known him.” Lance agreed. Hunk never got irritated enough to raise his voice with them. He’d only ever shouted at inanimate objects or the Galra during a fight. If he was upset, he talked about it because that’s just what Hunk  _ did.  _ He found someone or all of them at once and nervously spilled his emotions, honest but wound up.

It had always been easy, therefore, to know when Hunk needed support. This was entirely foreign behavior.

“Pidge, Lance, you’ve known Hunk the longest. Perhaps you should find him and attempt to talk with him.” Allura laid a hand on Shiro’s shoulder, considering he was still frozen. Hunk had been practically bellowing at Shiro. Although their leader was a strong fighter and courageous against any challenge, Hunk had suddenly seemed very intimidating and  _ mean,  _ mean enough to take Shiro on _.  _ Out of all of them, Hunk was the strongest and the biggest. If he really trained and wanted to, he could probably break Shiro in half. The thought had never really crossed their minds because Hunk would never,  _ ever  _ do that.

“Good idea. C’mon, Lance.” Pidge said, getting up. “Hunk needs help.”

“Right.” Lance got up too, and they headed out, agreeing to try Hunk’s room first. He was thankfully there. However, he was still very upset; he’d barricaded himself in his room and didn’t seem to be coming out anytime soon. “Hunk, please, man. Open the door.” Lance tried for the third time.

“ _ Fuck off.” _

Pidge and Lance flinched at the language, the bitter hatred in their normally gentle teammate’s tone. After a moment, Pidge cracked her knuckles, determined.

“Hunk, if you don’t open this door, I’m hacking it open. You have one minute.” She said firmly.

She and Lance waited nervously for more shouting or even violence, but after a few seconds the doors slid open. Pidge and Lance’s hearts broke as they found Hunk sitting against his desk, face in his hands, back shaking with sobs.

“Oh my gosh, Hunk!” Pidge hastily knelt beside him, hugging his arm as tightly as she was capable of. Lance joined her, rubbing Hunk’s back.

“Just get it out, man. Let it all out. We’re here for you.” Lance managed, eyes smarting. He was a sympathetic crier-- if he saw anyone else cry, he would too. On top of that, he was so sad that Hunk was so sad, and that made him feel like crying. No one deserved to feel that awful, especially Hunk.

“You’re okay.” Pidge said at long last, when Hunk stopped crying, still shaking a little. She let go of his arm to fetch a box of tissues, plunking down next to him and prodding him with the box. The yellow paladin finally let go of his face and sniffed, taking a tissue and loudly blowing his nose.

“You don’t have to say anything if you don’t want to.” Lance said quietly. “And if you want, we'll give you some space. But if you want to tell us what’s happening, that’s okay too.”

“You guys are the best,” Hunk said thickly, snatching them both into a tight hug. “I--it’s just about our last mission on Dion.”

“What about it?” Pidge’s voice was muffled by Hunk’s muscle.

“We--we did do really well. We saved the planet.” Hunk said, sounding miserable. “But there was this one Dionian. Just a kid. It was up on a high walkway; it was scared and alone.” He sniffed again, voice shaking with misery. “I--I tried so hard to help it. Just when it was coming over to me so I could get it down...a Galra shot it.”

Lance tensed, eyes pricking with tears, and Pidge gasped next to him. Hunk tightened the hug, crying again.

“I--I know we can’t save them all, but--but I feel so  _ guilty.”  _ Hunk croaked. “I should have sensed the Galra, or worked harder to get it to com-,”

“Hunk, you can’t do that. You can’t play ‘coulda woulda shouda’.” Pidge said into his chest, hugging him fiercely. “You worked so hard. You did the best that you could.”

“We get that it feels bad, but at the end of the day...that’s all you can do, man,”  Lance said thickly, still crying. He hated that Hunk had kept it all inside until that moment, that he’d had to suffer through that, seeing a child die right in front of him.

“This is why we form Voltron. Because if Zarkon had his way, he’d do that to  _ everyone.”  _ Pidge said firmly. “We form Voltron because we save planets like Dion. When we win, no one will have to live in fear. Every child will get a chance to grow up and live a happy life. You make a difference, Hunk.”

“Yeah. Remember the balmera? And Shay?” Lance asked, managing to worm a tissue out of the box from his position in Hunk’s crushing hug, wiping away tears and blowing his nose.

“I--yeah. Yeah.” Hunk said, voice more sure. “You guys are right.” He hugged them as tight as he was capable of, making Lance groan in protest and Pidge give out a muffled squeak, unable to breathe. “Thanks, guys. I owe you one.” Hunk said, letting them go.

“The only thing you owe me is a new set of ribs. Yeesh.” Lance complained, and Hunk laughed weakly.

“If I owe anyone anything, it’s an apology. Shiro especially.” Hunk frowned, looking guilty. “Quiznap, I  _ yelled  _ at him.”

“It happens, man. Remember when I blew up at him over bayard calibration?” Lance said, punching Hunk’s massive, muscled shoulder. “Shiro gets it. You’ll apologize and he’ll just wave it off and ask if you’re okay.”

True to Lance’s prediction, that was exactly what happened. Hunk told him the whole story, and cried again, but afterwards he felt calmer, and Shiro gave him an amazing pep-talk about how he was using his incredible strength and compassion to do  _ good.  _ He’d let Hunk hug him until he needed oxygen, and after Hunk felt much better.

Shiro told everyone else the story, and they were incredibly supportive. Keith was the most sympathetic, as he struggled with feeling as if he wasn’t doing enough all the time. The two of them started training together, and it was a perfect fit.

Overtime, Hunk saw the Dionian child not as a failure, but as a lesson, and he gradually became okay.


	4. Lonely

Vulnerable: Lance: Lonely

[][][][][][][][]

“Hey there, gorgeous,” Lance said, winking at the Iujonian he’d ran into on accident. “I’m sorry; I didn’t see you there. How can I make it up to you?”

The Iujonian blushed, black spreading on green cheeks. “I--that’s alright. I wasn’t paying attention.”

“Lance,  _ stop.”   _ Pidge whined. “Is he bugging you?”

“Oh, no, not at all!” The Iujonian denied hastily, still blushing. “I’m just curious. I’ve never met your kind before.”

“We’re humans. From Earth. But you are by far the most  _ beautiful  _ thing I’ve met yet.” Lance said smoothly, grinning widely when the Iujonian flushed hotter, the darkness spreading. “Don’t be embarrassed, baby. You’re cute.”

“Lance, do you have to flirt with everything that breathes?” Keith snapped.

“Only the cute ones.” Lance said, flexing his biceps. The Iujonian laughed, low and long.

“Lance, seriously. What is it with your obsessive need to be liked all the damn time? Just cut it out!” Keith snapped, irritated, before turning and leaving in a huff. He missed the hurt on Lance’s face, seeing as he was walking away, but everyone else saw it. Lance, however, shook it off, shooting a not quite believable wink at the Iujonian and asking them if they’d like to take a walk.

When he got back, instead of being his usual bragging self at ‘scoring a date’, Lance was unusually quiet. He didn’t rise to Keith’s bait at dinner, and even agreed quietly to his round of cleaning in the castle.

That never happened. Lance always complained about cleaning and  _ always  _ rose to Keith’s challenge.

The next day, Lance was solitary. Usually he hung around, watching Hunk build engines or Pidge work on the castle’s defenses. If he wasn’t doing that, he was joking around with Coran, or listening to Shiro and Allura talk about Altean politics or intergalactic peace treaties. He didn’t even take his usual 3 o’clock nap.

“Hey. Keith. Come here,” Pidge finally put her foot down when Lance just shrugged off being called a ‘whiny manipulator’ at dinner. Bemused and a little irritated at being interrupted, Keith shut down the Gladiator and crossed over to Pidge.

“What?” he asked impatiently, brushing hair out of his eyes.

“Don’t ‘what’ me, Mullet-head.” Pidge suddenly looked very intimidating as she pointed threateningly at him. He almost always stayed on her good side, so this was a little unexpected. “Quiznap, you are  _ oblivious,”  _ She hissed when Keith just stared blankly, a little nervous. “ _ Lance _ , Keith.”

“What about him?”

“You haven’t noticed  _ anything  _ that might be a little off with him?”

“I--Well, he’s been less annoying.  _ Ow!”  _ Keith protested as Pidge smacked him.

“You really hurt his feelings, idiot. Remember, on Iujon? The alien?”

“No?” Keith was bewildered.

“I could strangle you, Kogane. You really hurt Lance’s feelings. He hasn’t been acting like himself since you ran your mouth like an idiot!”

“What did I say?” Keith asked defensively, still unsure on what he’d done. In response, Pidge made a sound like she was going to commit murder and walked away, muttering angrily to herself.

A little apprehensive, Keith sought out Lance. He found him in the last place he expected: in the castle library. It was the most quiet, isolated place in the castle and very  _ not  _ Lance. He normally wouldn’t be caught dead in there. “Uh, Lance?” Keith asked, making his presence known.

“Hey.” Lance didn’t even look up from his book. As Keith got closer, he felt a pang of irritation- it was an alien text; Lance couldn’t even  _ read  _ it! He was ignoring him on purpose!

Oh. He was ignoring him.

Usually Lance took any opportunity to bug him. It was that charming, annoying quality that made Lance  _ Lance.  _ Pidge had been right; something was wrong.

And it was Keith’s fault.

“I--Pidge said that I hurt your feelings on Iujon,” Keith said, and then could have kicked himself. What kind of half-baked apology was that?!

“Mm.” Lance made a noncommittal noise, still not looking up.

“Hey. Lance.” Keith strode forward and grabbed the book, shutting it. Lance glared at him, but it wasn’t up to his usual caliber. “I hurt your feelings, but I don’t know why. You aren’t acting like you and it’s freaking me out. Stop being an idiot and help me apologize.” Keith said, frowning.

“You didn’t do anything wrong. You actually did something good.” Lance said ruefully. “I’m annoying. I know that.” He said flatly. “You were right when you said that I have this stupid need for everyone to like me. One day it might get this team in trouble, so I’m turning over a new leaf.” Lance gave a little shrug, much to Keith’s horror. “So thanks. Now I won’t be--ow! Keith,  _ ow!”  _ Lance spluttered, blocking the next jab aimed at his head. “ _ What the hell, Keith!” _

“You are the dumbest person I know, Lance.” Keith declared, an awful pang of guilt twisting in him for making such a great person think so little of themselves. “You think we all manage to live with you because you’re quiet and reserved?”

“What?” Lance wasn’t getting it. Keith was briefly sympathetic to Pidge and how  _ oblivious  _ he’d been not to see when he’d hurt his own teammate. How could Lance not see this?

“We like  _ you,  _ Lance. The annoying, flirty loudmouth that tells stupid jokes and makes Shiro try not to laugh at them. At the dummy who gets kidnapped every other mission.”

“It’s not  _ every  _ oth-,”

“Don’t ever act like this again. It’s okay that you want people to like you. I’ve just never cared about stupid stuff like that so I didn’t realize it was important to you. I’m sorry.”

“Keith...did you just  _ apologize?”  _ A shit eating grin formed on Lance’s face.

“Ugh. I hate when you’re like this.”

“ _ No you don’t,”  _ Lance sang. “You  _ like  _ me. You admitted it.”

“Until there is recorded evidence, no one will believe you. Now stop moping.” Keith grumbled, turning to go.

“Keith, wait. Um. Thanks.” To Keith’s horror, Lance’s voice had gotten thick. “I--I’m from kind of a big family so getting attention when you wanted it sometimes was hard and you always get overlooked as a middle child and sometimes I felt really lonely so I just had to stick out, you know? And I feel like if I don’t  _ know  _ that people like me that they hate me and that feeling makes me feel awf--!”

Keith cut off his rant by hugging the blue paladin.

“I’m not a hugger and I don’t... _ vent  _ like this. But just...get it out.” He muttered. Lance held on tight, saying nothing for a while, which was a relief for Keith. He wasn’t the best at consoling people. Hunk had made some kind of TV reference about petting someone with a broom when they were depressed (12 Stone, maybe? Keith couldn’t remember). Pidge had cackled loudly, Lance had high-fived him, and Keith had glared at them all.

But the reference had been accurate. He had no idea how to make Lance feel better.

When Lance started giggling, Keith was suitably alarmed. Had he broken his teammate? Shiro would be extremely disappointed, and Allura would kill him.

“I got that  _ all  _ on video. Even the hug!” Lance sniffed, pulling back and wiping at his eyes, phone in hand. “But seriously, thanks. That really helped. And if you ever upset me again I can just watch this video and laugh!” Lance chuckled a little shakily, grinning.

“You have five seconds head start before I kill you.”

“I love you  _ tooo~!”  _ Lance cackled, running out of the library.

If Keith was secretly okay with Lance showing everyone the video and bragging about how ‘sensitive’ Keith was, it was the worst kept secret on the ship.


	5. Pressure

Vulnerable: Shiro: Pressure

[][][][][][][][]

Hunk was nervous about the next mission; he’d need reassuring, especially with the guilt he carried about not being able to save everyone. Besides, Shiro could relate.

Pidge was sneaking off to her lab to do extra work again. He’d have to have a word with her or get Coran to change the door codes. It wouldn’t keep Pidge out for more than a night, but it would send a message.

Lance was homesick. Well, more so than usual. Lance was always speaking longingly of home, but lately he'd been looking at the solar system in the Milky Way and talking about his family. He'd need some support, a reminder that he wasn't alone.

Keith was pushing himself too hard again with the Gladiator. His use of the regeneration pods had gone down for a while, but now he was going too hard, training for too long. If Shiro wasn’t careful, he’d hurt himself again.

Allura had been thinking about her father again. He’d seen her in the control room twice looking at the coordinates in space where Altea used to be, and she was frequenting the computer console where her father’s essence had been. Considering she’d had to essentially kill him to save everyone else, he knew that she may never fully forgive herself.

Poor Coran! Shiro could tell that he was feeling inadequate again. He did literally every other odd job that made sure the castle ran smoothly for everyone. They were thankless tasks; not everyone even _realized_ how important he was. Shiro needed to talk with him. Maybe he could talk to him and Hunk at the same time? Was that rude?

Quiznap, even the _mice_ needed his attention. They’d been, in Shiro’s opinion, fighting a little. For such a tight knit group, their little spats had him concerned. He wanted to do something to smooth things over in their group.

There were so many system logs to sort through. Alien languages to attempt to understand. Distress calls to organize and respond to. Inventory to check up on. Bayards to calibrate and perform maintenance on. He'd been neglecting Black- they needed attention if he was going to keep his bond with his lion strong. He had to be strong. 

And the nightmares. God, they never stopped. Matt, looking at him in betrayal, in heartbreak, in horror. He’d _hurt_ him, even if it was to help him. Commander Holt, a man Shiro had seen as a father figure, dead or worse. Where was he? Would he be furious that Shiro couldn’t protect his son? That he was barely keeping Katie safe? He still dreamed of Sendak too. Of his voice in his head, filling him with grief and doubt. Half the time he still agreed with the hallucination- who was he to think that he could lead Voltron?

What if the paladins he'd come to consider family got hurt or even  _died_ because of an order he gave? If he had one misstep, made one bad decision, the lives of the people he cared about most would suffer for it. He couldn't protect them and save the universe. Something had to give. Did he work them harder to save more lives and get more done in less time? It put them at risk for injury or illness. If he didn't, could he live with himself for letting innocent people die?

The amputation. The pain. The complete and utter loss of knowing how much time had passed. Of not knowing how long he’d been unconscious. Galra scientists putting him under no matter how hard he fought to stay awake. The blood. The screams of the dying. The roar of the crowd.

Who was he? The Champion? Shiro? Was he even _human_ anymore?!

Shiro found the nearest side room and ducked into it, sliding down the wall and letting out a shaky breath. He couldn’t afford to break down like this! Allura was a natural leader, but everyone, even her sometimes, looked to him for direction. Once Pidge had told him that he was the glue that held the group together. He was the level head in the crisis. He never gave way under pressure. He was the black paladin, the head, the--

Shit. _Shit._ His hands were shaking and his breaths were fast and ragged. He couldn’t fall apart. He couldn’t give in. Couldn’t show weakness. Cracking under the strain was _not_ an option, but he--he couldn’t, he _couldn’t--_

“I know,” Someone was saying, soft and sympathetic. Who was that? They were...bigger than him, but they weren’t Hunk. “You’re alright, Shiro. You’re here, with me.” The voice continued. The room was dark, but he was on the ship, and Allura had changed her body. She was probably a good two feet taller than him now, and had practically gathered him into her lap.

Suddenly, Shiro was mortified and _disgusted_ with himself. What did she think of him now, breaking down over nothing? He had such incredible respect for her, and now she had to see him like this? What would she think when she realized that he couldn't handle this kind of pressure?

“You have nothing to be embarrassed about, Shiro.” Allura read his mind, frowning down at him. “What is that Earth expression? ‘You are only human’? Because it is very applicable now.”

“I was...I’m not usually like this,” His voice was hoarse.

“We all know how strong you are, Shiro.” Allura said quietly. “Physically. Mentally. Emotionally. You have lived through unimaginable pain and cruelty, and yet you are still a caring and thoughtful leader.”

Now his eyes were stinging for a different reason.

“My father and Coran groomed me for leadership my whole life. I can only sympathize to the horrors you have faced, but I can tell you that I completely understand the pressures of leadership.” She continued. He felt stupid for not realizing that. Why he’d never thought of talking to her before about his continuous worry of failing the team was beyond him. He knew that he hesitated to rely on others as to always appear confident, but _quiznap._

“I’m sorry.” He said at last, and Allura let out a weak laugh.

“It’s frustrating. I know how ashamed you feel. How you can never show a moment of indecision lest your team loses faith in you. In themselves. I cannot help you see past that; you must see for yourself that what you are so afraid of is _not_ true.” Allura shrank a little so that she wasn’t towering over him anymore. “You are not an integral part of this team simply because you are a good leader, Shiro. It is because even when you make mistakes or need a break that you are still...you.” She paused, suddenly not as eloquently spoken as usual.

“I don’t want them to worry about something I can control. God knows we have enough to worry about.” Shiro frowned.

“You may think you can keep them from worrying, Shiro, but you can’t.” Allura said factually. “Friends care and worry for each other constantly. And don’t think that if you are constantly appearing calm that we _think_ you are. We know better than that.”

“So it’s for nothing?” Shiro asked ruefully, half to himself. All he'd ever wanted was to be a calm person for the paladins, for the team, in a universe full of uncertainty and fear. Had he failed at that all along?

“ _No,_ Shiro. You show that you care about us by constantly trying to be there for us. We show we care by spotting when you need help no matter how hard you try to hide it.”

It suddenly made perfect sense. Shiro felt a pang of gratefulness for Allura that he hugged her hard. She returned the hold, and in the dark, quiet of the room with nothing but the heat if another person, it was tranquil. Shiro could stuff away the lingering traumatic memories, his fear, his uncertainty. He could re-shoulder his burdens, hold up under the pressure. The amount of work to be done was manageable, and he felt safe. 

“Thank you, Allura.” He said finally. To him, the simple thank you couldn't possibly measure up the gratefulness he felt towards her, but he felt better saying it anyway. He got up, made sure his face was clear of any moisture. It was time to soldier on.

“It was my pleasure, Shiro. Next time don’t hesitate to find me.” Allura said gently, and took the hand he offered to help her up.

“ _Lance!”_ They both clearly heard Pidge roar from somewhere nearby, and what sounded like Hunk and Keith laughing and Lance screaming. After a second, both he and Allura were laughing hard enough to cry, leaning on one another. Shiro could only imagine what had happened, and didn't fancy trying to pull a furious Pidge off of Lance. Her fists were small but sharp, and she could really pack a wallop when she was angry. “Duty calls,” Shiro chuckled finally.

“Duty calls.” Allura smiled, and they went in search of the brewing argument, hoping to end it before it got out of hand.


End file.
